GASTRONORMOUS

My two little jalapeños have continued to flourish, and there is now a third little guy developing too! This new growth is despite the continuing white fly assault and now something more insidious: aphids! I didn’t know what these tiny black critters were until I called my Mom the Green Thumb and described them to her. She said they are definitely aphids and suggested I buy some lady bugs to combat the things. In the meantime, she suggested mixing some oil, water, and dishwashing soap in a spray bottle and spraying my plants with it. I have sprayed it. We will see what happens now. (If anyone has any ideas for getting rid of white flies and/or aphids, please say so in the comments!) The battle these poor plants must fight for the privilege of living in the city!

I picked the largest jalapeño and sliced it really thin to go into my quesadilla on Sunday. It was (disappointingly) not very hot and had an unusual earthy flavor. Next time I will try growing some salsa peppers. I had never heard of them before my Mom told me she had a glut of them (she mentioned this after I boasted that I had 3 peppers. slink.)–more than she new what to do with. She made a bunch of delicious sounding hot pepper jam with it. I hoping to get some as a Christmas stocking stuffer (if not before, nudge, nudge).

Here is my little pepper on the chopping block! If this isn’t the platonic ideal of a jalapeño, i don’t know what is. Quite a beaut, yes?

The right way to make macaroni and cheese is: to start with a roux; from that create a bechamel; to which you add cheese and spices; and cooked pasta; which you spread in a casserole; top with cheese and/or breadcrumbs; and bake until brown and bubbly. How you make macaroni and cheese on a Friday night, home alone, suffering mightily from a concussion is: to start with Amy’s deluxe macaroni and cheese (don’t judge! a bechamel is too much for the concussion-addled brain); cook less than package directions (6 minutes, tops); mix with cheese-like goo and some extra pasta water; add some truffle oil (no, I am totally not kidding); spread in a casserole; top with breadcrumbs, microplaned parmesan, and black pepper; put in a super hot oven for a few minutes, just until breadcrumbs are toasted (any more and the pasta will be too dry). High class cuisine? Not exactly. Better than the sum of its parts? Indubitably.

(Someday I will share my special homemade macaroni and cheese recipe.)

Saturday I spent indoors (except for going out to walk the dog), cleaning a bit and resting my head, which was still feeling a bit like it was being done in my a grapefruit reamer. Leftovers and some vegetables for dinner.

On Sunday, I was feeling a bit more with it so I went to visit a friend at her for-kicks gig scooping delicious ice cream at Cafe Cluny in the West Village. They have exactly three house-made flavors at any one time, but the flavors rotate daily. Sunday, it was chocolate, vanilla, and dulce de leche. I tasted all three, and the dulce de leche was my favorite. By the time we were done chatting and I ordered my ice cream, though, the dulce was kaput. Sigh! So I had vanilla instead [$4 for 2 scoops]. The vanilla wasn’t a huge compromise–indeed it was delicious. Creamy, egg-y, and chock full of vanilla bean specks proving its authenticity. The cone (also made in house) was a great complement to the ice cream for the first few bites, but by the end had overwhelmed my palate with sweetness. A little less sugar and a pinch more salt would be preferable for me. They have a good range of ice cream flavors, from chocolate mint chip to peanut-chocolate ripple. Next time you find yourself in the West Village, I would definitely recommend stopping by for a couple scoops.

Cafe Cluny
284 West 12th St. (at West 4th)
212-255-6900

Still not feeling up to real cooking, or, well, grocery shopping, I resorted a cheese quesadilla for dinner. I know, bad me! Not the healthiest, but it did contain a fresh vegetable in the form of a jalapeño from my own window box plant! Tune in later for more on that!

Sorry, Gastronormous is going to be out of commission for a few days while I recover from the concussion I sustained Sunday (see below post for details). I am not feeling up to much eating, let along cooking, which makes for a bad Gastronormous.

Please tune in again soon, I hope to be back online in the next couple days.

Despite the continuing onslaught of white flies, our window box has produced a bounty of two ultra-tiny jalapenos! One inch-long greenie still has a flower attached to its rear end like a diaper. The other is diaperless, though smaller than the first. Too bad we already picked and used the tomatoes [pictured left, dwarfed by a ramekin] as a garnish on our quinoa, because as the Hubs pointed out, we could have made the tiniest salsa ever. The tomatoes, by the way, were tasty enough but the skins were really thick, which made me think that despite the nice color they had, we picked them too soon.

On Saturday I had a mediocre brunch with awful service at Alma. I have had great brunches with good (or at least ok) service there in the past, so this was more than a disappointment. It seems that there was a shift change after we ordered, and we were completely neglected by the new waitresses for the rest of our stay. It got to the point where we actually discussed the possibility of leaving without paying when, after having to collar the waitress to ask for our bill, she never came to pick up the credit card! We ended up just collaring the waitress yet again to pick it up. I hope this was just an anomaly. I might go back, but no time soon.

Saturday night I met Eddie and the Predicate out for drinks at a bar that absolutely lives up the the hype. The Clover Club on Smith Street has great ambiance, friendly service, and fantastic cocktails. I was immediately impressed by how accommodating (and not snobby!) the staff is. Sure, the drinks aren’t cheap ($10-11), but hey we are in the inflationary late Aughts, so why not live it up. I had the Bermuda Swizzle, which was truly the best cocktail I have ever had. It was magic in a highball. The magic must be owed to the one uncommon ingredient: something called Velvet Falernum, which sounds like it might illegal, and as good as this cocktail is, may well should be. Ignore the Negative Nellies who say the decor and menu are contrived. The bottom line is, this is a comfortable place with well-crafted cocktails and peerless service.

Before the Hubs left town yesterday afternoon, we got bagels and went to Fort Greene park to have a little breakfast picnic and enjoy the lovely weather. The bagels came from Bagel World on DeKalb. Afterward we decided that the ridiculously named La Bagel Delight (I mean, really, why “la” when neither “bagel” nor “delight” are French terms?) on Lafayette has the superior bagels and schmears. Lesson learned!

Yesterday a clothes iron fell on my head from a high shelf in the closet. It really hurt. With the Hubs just departed for exotic locales, the Predicate kindly came over to watch over me in case I slipped quietly into a coma. Not in the mood to cook, we decided to order in Chinese food from the only decent place in the general area; it happens to be Vegetarian Palate on Flatbush. The wontons were ok. They tasted more of deep-fry than filling. The orange tangarian [sic] beef was beefy but not orangey (or tangarianey for that matter), though tasty all the same. We sort of got into the Shanghai Spicy Noodles after thinking to add some Siracha sauce to add the spice that the name promised but dish didn’t deliver. Like Alma, not as good as in the past, but unlike Alma, the (delivery) service was speedy and friendly. I have ordered other great food from them, so it will remain in my menu rotation.

Overall, it was an interesting, if uneven, weekend in food. Both outcomes probably due to the fact that I ate out more than I usually do. More home cooking to come this week (though probably not tonight as my head is still aching!).

Serious Eats: New York offers a handy list of food events happening in the area this weekend. If you are into Michael Pollan, chili, or crayfish, it turns out this is your lucky week.

OMG! Cake Wrecks is a hysterical blog that Accidental Hedonist lead me to this week. I laughed and I laughed. There were tears. This post about a co-worker going away cake gone terribly wrong is my favorite.

For the day after the next time I make risotto: Chard-wrapped, mozzarella-stuffed day-old-risotto balls! Thanks, Bittman!

These cocktail recipes from Tabla look summery and refreshing. [via the Kitchn]

I ashamed to say that if someone asked me what burrata was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them until I read this post by The Amatuer Gourmet. Basically, it is to regular mozzarella what molten chocolate cake is to Duncan Hines. Now I need to stop writing so that I can go buy some.

The inspiration for making this dish was two-fold. First, I went to the great little French restaurant in my neighborhood, Ici, for brunch a couple weekends ago, and I had the quinoa with roasted vegetables and pesto, which was really simple and delicious. Second, when I talked on the phone with my Mom last weekend, she told me about a bulgur recipe she makes, and it sounded like a healthy and simple weeknight meal. When I went to the store to buy the bulgur, I spied the quinoa and it occurred to me that it would be a slightly exotic stand-in for the bulgur wheat from Mom’s recipe.

Quinoa looks, tastes, and cooks like a grain, but is actually the seed produced by a flowering plant (of the Goosefoot or Chenopodium family, which in turn is related to Amaranthaceae, or spinach family, in case you are into botany). It is native to Peru, and has a long history there: it was reportedly revered by the Incas. Unlike beans, which must be paired with rice to make a complete amino acid profile, quinoa is a complete protein containing all nine essential amino acids. It is also packed with vitamins and high in fiber. And have I mentioned it is darned tasty?

The following recipe is basically the one my Mom gave me over the phone (substituting the bulgur for quinoa), and I duplicated it from memory, so forgive me, Mom, if it is at all wrong!

“Mom’s” Quick Quinoa

1 cup quinoa, rinsed and picked over
1 tomato, chopped
1 small onion, sliced thin
1 large clove garlic, minced
2 tsp olive oil
1/4 tsp rosemary, rubbed between your hands
1/4 tsp basil
1/4 tsp oregano
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups broth (or water with bouillon)
1 cup chopped flat leaf parsley

After rinsing quinoa in a fine mesh sieve and picking out any foreign debris, place sieve in a bowl and fill with water. Let quinoa soak while you do chop the veggies and do the following:

Saute onions in the oil over medium heat until they reduce in size and start to brown (almost caramelized, but not quite), adding the garlic after about 5 minutes. Add tomato and spices and cook a few minutes more.
Drain the quinoa really well, then add to the pan. Stir around until much of the water has evaporated. Add broth, bring to a boil, cover and cook for 12-16 minutes until the quinoa is done (which you only know for sure by tasting!). It should be chewy but not crunchy when done. Taste and adjust seasoning if necessary. Right before serving, stir in the parley.

It is yummy on its own, but would also be delicious garnished with sour cream or plain yogurt and/or cherry tomatoes. This would be great as a side or main dish. You could serve it with a salad, quesadillas (what we did–see pic below), steamed vegetables, soup, you name it, be creative!

Serves 4 generously.

I admit this is not the “sexiest” product out there, but it can’t be more practical. I received this 3-container set from my Aunt and Uncle at my wedding shower. They went daringly off-list, and I am better organized in the kitchen for it.

Lock & Lock containers have clean lines, stack easily, are truly air tight, and, best of all, are dishwasher (and freezer) safe! I say yea! for no more warped lids! [$13.49 for this 6-piece set]

Some evenings after getting off the train in Grand Central, I take a “short cut” through the fantastic Grand Central Market on my way to the subway, but it is usually more of an excuse to stop by the Murray’s Cheese counter there. On a recent evening, I was in a rather racy mood and asked a Murray’s Cheese woman to suggest a tangy cheese to me. I was given a sample of something, and I was blown away by how unusual and tasty it was. It was full of contradictions: nutty and sharp, fruity and pungent. Then she mentioned it was a washed rind. This surprised me because the cheese was so not scary. Washed rinds are supposed to be scary, right? These cheeses were supposed to be accompanied by a nostril assault that makes you pray to the patron saint of clothespins. Right?

Well, this one was surprisingly approachable. I bought a quarter pound of it and took it home. As the Hubs and I enjoyed the cheese over the next couple days, I continued to marvel at the fact that it was a washed rind. Sure, it was a little stinky in aroma, but not in taste. I began to think I had washed rind cheese all wrong. In order to do right by it, I came up with the idea of The Culture Club: Mission Stank.

I purchased the cheeses at Stinky Bklyn and Murrays Cheese. Stinky has really wonderful, personal customer service. I happened to go in when it wasn’t busy, so the cheese monger spent a lot of time with me, and he explained that washed rind cheeses are called such because as they age, the outside of the cheese wheel is repeatedly bathed in a brine or other liquid that promotes bacteria growth, which eventually causes a heady aroma. He patiently described and let me taste many of the examples they have. I asked what types of accompaniments went best with this type of cheese, and he suggested a lambic beer, a sweet white wine, or a bubbly wine. For bread, he said a rye or pumpernickel works well.

Murray’s Cheese, I think mostly by virtue of the enormous counter over which you must lob questions to the sales people, offers a little less personalized service, but the people are nice enough and if you make clear that you are buying something, they are happy to let you taste too. This sales person also mentioned a sweet white wine, like a Reisling, to go with it, and she also suggested a chutney and a white bread.

[A Note: when you buy washed rind cheeses, be prepared to get stares or worse on your way home (if you use public transportation that is). On my way home from Murray’s, people waved their hands in front of their noses when I entered the subway, and at one stop, two women moved to the next car of the train to escape the smell. Such is magnitude of the stank!]

So, the line-up: 5 cheeses (3 from Stinky, 2 from Murray’s; I presented them on a board accompanied by the labels from the respective stores so that we would know what we were eating); 3 breads: pumpernickel (thanks to the Predicate), Mazzola’s amazing cranberry-nut bread, and baguette (both care of Em, who also brought some yellow plums and avocados!), plus some plain crostini; 2 spreads: ginger jam, mango chutney; and a flight of 3 beverages: Cherry Lambic (c/o Predicate), a Rose Cava, and a sweet Riesling. Grapes, plums, and cherries were also on hand to cleanse the palate. I’d say we more than had our bases covered!

We couldn’t do a washed rind cheese tasting without sampling a cheese from France, the stinky cheese capital of the world, now could we? We started with Livarot [$22/lb. at Stinky], a cow’s milk cheese from the Normandy region of France. A fun fact from Stinky label: Proust once referred to this cheese as “the feet of God.” That is about right! Someone asked if the rind was edible, and I said that Stinky technically said yes, but not advised, Murray’s said yes, please do. The Predicate brazenly declared, “I’m gonna try the rind,” quickly followed up by a dead-serious “The. Rind. Is. Not. Good.” This cheese was soft and oozy, with a little some bitterness that was brought out by the lambic and especially the pumpernickel. It tasted a bit better with the Riesling, which surprised me as I dislike Riesling itself enough that I didn’t think it could make anything taste better.

The second cheese was called Dorset [$20/lb. at Stinky], made in Champlain Valley in Vermont, at a farm with a funny name: Consider Bardwell Farm. Atypically among washed rind cheeses, the Dorset is rather firm. It has a really strong pungent smell, but the taste is almost reminiscent of a cheddar or some thought gouda. It was very accessible among washed rinds, especially on the cranberry bread, which Em pointed out lent a nice contrast to the pungency. But the Predicate noted that “the pumpernickel brings out the stank.”

The most familiar cheese in this bunch was the Taleggio, from the Lombardia region of Italy. [$13.99/lb. at Murray’s]. The Hubs noted from the start that the aroma was very earthy and green, “like brussel sprouts.” This cheese was thought by most of us to be beyond “accessible” and indeed approaching mundane. The Hubs mused that “it almost tastes like Laughing Cow.” While I wouldn’t go that far, we all agreed it was the least interesting cheese overall. Em, while acceding that the cheese was not “controversial,” appreciated the ultra-creamy texture.

Grayson [$19.99/lb. at Murray’s] from Meadow Creek Dairy in southwest Virginia. The milk comes from Jersey cows reared using sustainable farming practices, which made me feel even better about this truly enjoyable cheese. It was the stinkiest of the bunch (which says a lot!), but we didn’t let the olfactory onslaught intimidate us. With this cheese especially, we all remarked on how cuckoo it was that something could smell so wrong, but taste so right. It was soft but not oozy, creamy and fruity, and I deemed it my favorite, though Hubs thought it tasted a bit of fish, which, though I didn’t taste it, I admit isn’t something most people look for in a cheese.

One doesn’t normally associate washed rind cheese with Ireland, but indeed there is at least one produced there, and we tried it. It is called Ardrahan [$20/lb. at Stinky], and is from Kanturk in County Cork. It has a creamy, brie-like texture, and is almost as stinky as the Grayson. This one was for me unpleasantly bitter, though for others, especially paired with the sweet-ish cranberry bread or the lambic wasn’t half bad. The Cava ended up not pairing well with any of the cheeses, but this cheese least so, as Em pointed out.

Overall: Most of us enjoyed the Dorset and Meadow Creek the most, though Livarot ran a close third place. The Talegio and Dorset would be the best for washed rind philistines. If bitter is your thing, go for the Livarot or Ardrahan.

The Lambic and especially the Riesling paired well with all the cheeses. I wouldn’t recommend anything dry, like the Cava.

The pumpernickel, while tasty on its own, tended to bring out the worst in all the cheeses. The cranberry bread went well with all, and the baguette provided a nice, unobtrusive platform for the flavors. The plain crostini operated the same way, but offered a nice crunch too.

The chutney was too overwhelming in flavor for these cheeses (though not for cheddar), but the ginger jam worked well with most of them. Honestly, though, I would skip the spreads with washed rind cheese, and just simply bask in the revelatory stank of it all. Though your fellow subway riders might be sorry, I promise you, you won’t be.

Tomorrow I am going to post the inaugural edition of a new feature on Gastronormous called The Culture Club. Every month I am going to get a couple friends together to help me explore a single category of cheese. What constitutes that “category” is rather loose. It can be a style of cheese, a region, or a characteristic. For example, cheddar, blue, hard, or Spanish would work as fodder for The Culture Club.

For the first installment, we are going to jump right into the deep end of the curd pool. We are going to explore washed rind cheeses, from the user-friendliest of these stinkers, to the truly olfactorally punishing. We will not only explore the type of cheese, but also the best accompaniments, in food and beverage.

Tune in tomorrow to learn everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask about mysterious and , I’ll admit, slightly scary, washed rind cheese!

From the why haven’t I thought of that files: Mark Bittman uses the corn cobs to make a stock for his corn chowder! Brilliance!

I love the idea of riz compose, which a Emily at Accidental Hedonist discusses. And just when I was lamenting a lack of recipe to go along with her description of this French salad staple, along comes Mark Bittman (again!) with four great rice salad recipes!

The always charming Clotilde at Chocolate & Zucchini has a terrific looking lemon kefir ice cream recipe. (And she even includes separate instructions for ice cream maker-less people like me!)

Grub Street reports that Monkey Town in Williamsburg has reopened. If you haven’t been, by all means go! The menu is really innovative, and the food actually tastes good (innovation and tasty don’t always go together in the restaurant world!), plus you can catch some crazy-ass movies, video performances, and/or live bands whilst chowing down.

Nyom, nyom, nyom, nyom. That is the sound of me looking, or rather drooling, at pictures of ice cream sandwiches from restaurants and cafes around NYC. [from Serious Eats]